The Thing About It Is….

I commented on a thought-provoking post written by Brittnei on her blog Homemaking with Style, that inspired this post here.  After posting my comment….

August 22, 2014 4:05 pm

I really believed I would be a lifelong Barbie collector and my girls would adore me for doing so 🙂
I have a few Barbies and my girls could care less, which is just fine with me.
I believed happy marriages were fairytales made for the big screen, I never saw it growing up…. well, in glimpses.
I’m grateful to realize happiness exists especially when you open your heart.
All the best~
XOXO
Mrs. AOK recently posted…Summer.

I just knew someone would read this comment and think wadda sap!  I get it, I might have thought that to, trust me. And not that I have to explain myself to anyone…. ever. I just felt compelled to write this post on what I previously believed, and how it’s not true.

The thing about it is, I’m usually the girl to see the glass as half full, but I wasn’t always this way, especially regarding marriage and love!   You see, I did not grow up in a Norman Rockwell, but people looking in may beg to differ. My family, as most families do, had their own secrets, lies, and internal heartache.  My parents, although good parents, were not the best partners. Let’s just say I never spoke these words, “Gee, when I grow-up I want a marriage just like Mom and Dad’s.” – never.  As a matter of fact, I think I said the complete opposite, in my head over a thousand times.

When my parents finally decided to give marriage counseling a try for the first time- 16 years too late in my opinion– when my friends found out they were in shock. “Look at them they look so in love,” my friends sighed as my parents danced with each other at one of the numerous quinceaneras we attended that particular year.  Oh dear sweet friends… that’s just passion, my parent’s triangular love lacked liking & commitment.  Although, to be completely fair, my parents did throw in the latter two traits on occasion.  For the most part, infatuated love was the outcome….

It was NOT a surprise to me when the two of them f i n a l l y went their separate ways.  The last two years of their marriage was ugly.  There was fighting, crying, and anger– again with the passion.  Their heartbreak spilled over. As much as all of us weren’t surprised by the split, the drama was another thing.  During their split while trying not to take sides, I had my first full on panic attack.  I was a grown adult child dealing with my parents’ grief while pregnant with my third child, having a freaking meltdown!!

So, understand that my outlook on marriage was never rosy, also realize I’m still not giving all the details because… family.  When I met my husband as much as I was enamored with everything about him, I was a certified bitch! I had a figurative wall up.  My husband, then boyfriend, would ask me how many bricks were still standing, sadly he had to keep asking even into our marriage. I was on high alert, I was guarding my heart, and I wasn’t giving us, us.  I had to let go of the problems others had. I realized my husband WAS and IS in LOVE with me, and I am deeply in love with him.  We are NOT my parents, or his parents for that matter.

There are days that I wakeup and question my life.  I mean, I just didn’t realize married life could be this good, honestly.  I am thankful.  I’m thankful my husband has given me our fairytale, sure it’s free of diamond encrusted chandeliers, fairy godmothers, and glass slippers, but there is plenty of love and magic 🙂  My husband has been taking down bricks and building our castle with me.

Happy marriages can exist, and I get that now…