Currently: Angsty Retrograde-y May
Currently, Getting to know Me

Currently {Angsty Retrograde-y May}



Currently… I’m going through some thing, I’m not sure what it is. I’m just going through it. I don’t want to let the low tide pull me in. The waves are crashing over me, they’re not hurtful, they are simply cleansing me, perhaps they’re gearing me up for this new chapter. There are moments where I feel like I’m one with those waves; loud, silent, calming, volatile (there’s 8 different definitions of this word choose whichever you’d like), and refreshing.


(Thank you, Shelly, for introducing this song to me.)

Mercury in retrograde?  Thank goodness it’s almost over. Well.. if that’s even it..

Currently, I’m learning what I’ve always known, life moves on with or without you. Life doesn’t slow down for you to catch up, waiting for the right time is the wrong way to manage time. Yup, I’ve done that, and I’m done.

Currently, I’m listening to Beyonce and wondering why it took me so long to get on the Beyonce bandwagon. She has me all inspired right now.


I think I may make Flawless my new anthem (I know it’s an older song, but hear me out), because I need to remember I too can be flawless, I need to drink from the confidence fountain. I also really like hearing Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s part in the song. Annnd now I’m listening to Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TedTalk.

Currently, I’m getting back into my creative outlets, because I need them.

Morning meditation. Coffee & Sharpies ?

A photo posted by Mrs.AOK (@mrs_aok) on

Currently, I’m missing the beach, I think I need it again. I’ll be there this weekend. YES!! Hopefully, my spending Monday morning in second grade and sharing the sharing bird in sharing circle with a little guy (not my guy) who kept wiping his nose with his hands doesn’t derail my weekend plans.

Mermaid at the Beach

Currently, I’m realizing I’m not a “fake it ’till you make it” gal. I’m a let’s be real gal. I’m being completely transparent here. Life is good. I’m good. I’m just in a place or disarray. I live good. I love hard. I’m loved. I’m happy with my tribe. I’m not in love with my geographic location. I’m fighting some angst. I’m tired of being consistently inconsistent when it comes to the blog. I’d love to get out of debt and have my student loan disappear. I’m ready for us to find our forever home. I’m happy the sun is shinning today. Apparently, I need sun and I have fallen in love with doughnuts. 

A photo posted by Mrs.AOK (@mrs_aok) on

Random The More You Know?   Please do remember we all throw up facades from time to time, so, with that thought, don’t compare yourself. I think we can all admit to a little comparison here and there, right? We have to stop that or realize we’re comparing highlights, or as they call it in second grade high points. You can’t compare other’s high points to your low points or your in the middle. How could we possibly know what goes on behind the iPhone or computer screen?

Currently {thoughts} Your story is unique and so so different... and not worthy comparison.

Currently, I’m wishing I could make a living doodling and handlettering. I’ve been working on a little something, and I know I’ve been hinting for months, but remember what I said about needing to drink from the confidence fountain and fighting off angst. But, Dean, you just said:

Life doesn’t slow down for you to catch up, waiting for the right time is the wrong way to manage time.

Yup, you’re right, and that’s why I followed up with:

Yup, I’ve done that, and I’m done.

I’m also kind of a perfectionist…It's NOT who you are, it's who you THINK you're not

I think I’m also done with information overload too. I’ve been streaming all sorts of information to get me to a point where I will emerge as the all knowledgeable being when it comes to my craft/skill. 😀 It’s pretty laughable, right?

Currently, I’m busy with end-of-the-year school projects and other end-of-the-year school duties that are slowly growing. All of sudden everyone has project or two, and they are all due soon. Thanks!

Currently, I’ve missed out on a hot cup of coffee to talk to you, my friends. Because talking and catching up with friends means more to me than my beloved coffee. 🙂 Thank you for being a friend and caring to read what’s been up with me… currently.



© 2016, Dean @Mrs. AOK, A Work In Progress. All rights reserved.

60 thoughts on “Currently {Angsty Retrograde-y May}”

  1. That elephant is amazing!
    I’m definitely going through a thing too. It’s a weird restless, fearful, cleansing type of thing. I hope the other side is as awesome as I imagine it to be.

    1. Thank you, Tamara!
      We’re both going through a thing, huh? I just read your Two Step post, and I swear you and I are two peas in a pod!!

  2. I’m not a big believer in “fake it ’till you make it”. There’s a time and place for it, but in general, I think it is so much better to be real. Life is not perfect. We can’t be experts in everything. And, that’s okay 🙂

    Also, I love your elephant drawing 🙂

    1. Sometimes I feel like I’m pretty darn real, and I wonder if that’s a good thing in this world.. blog world. I don’t want to be a Downer Debbie, but sometimes, it’s how I’m feeling, and I don’t want to not be real. I cannot fake, life. This is life. It’s up and down, happy and ehh…
      I’m just so happy to have connected with awesome friends like you who totally appreciate my honesty. Thank you! And I still want to do a collab/swap with you. 😉

  3. Sounds like you’re going through quite a lot my friend. I’m like you. I’m going through some things myself and I’m definitely not a fake it till I make it kind of gal either, but I have to say that beach looks amazing and I wish I could go there with you. Here’s to a fab weekend!

    1. Thank you, Amanda! I hope we come out of this thing with smiles and nothing but happiness in our hearts. I know it’s almost over, I can feel it. 😉
      I’m also about to go to the beach in a few hours, so I’m excited.
      The picture of the beach above is in Isle of Palms in South Carolina, we’re a long way from there. This will be my first time walking on the beach here in Washington.

  4. The ramblings of our heart … your honesty and your being real here in this space.It is what makes me keep coming back. It will work out – it always does! In the meantime, live, love and don’t forget to laugh!

    1. Thank you, Michelle! I’m so grateful for you friendship and support. I always wonder if me being “honest or real” will turn people away, but in the end all that matters that those who accept my truth stick around and I will always be there for them. 🙂
      I know it’s going to calm soon, I can feel it, perhaps it’s the beach calling me today. 🙂
      I will always live, love, and laugh! Joy is always in my heart, honestly, even on the rough days, I’m always filled with love, gratitude, and joy for life. 🙂

  5. Someone commented, “ramblings of the heart” and I loved that! When I am in the midst of swirling thoughts and emotions, why is it that sweets always stays calm and steady at the center??? Why isn’t it carrots and celery? Beautiful post.

    1. I liked what Michelle said too, I guess she was right this post was totally the ramblings of my heart. 😉 I’d love to be steady and calm, always. 🙂
      Thank you for stopping by, Terri!

  6. I meant to write in my last comment in your blog post that I absolutely heart that elephant! I think you should consider doing art prints (and make money doodling!)
    I feel ya on the student loans — so ready to be done paying them! Alas, it will be another few years, at least.
    And I miss the beach, too. I’m currently on the train to NYC, though, and am passing boats in the water as I type this comment. 😀

    1. Thank you, Bev! I would love to try and sell some prints, I think that would make me happy to share my work, but I’ve been super hard on my skills lately. Although, I’ve also been quite proud. It’s a battle. 🙂
      I hate student loans! I wish someone would magically pay for those who tried to improve themselves through education, you know like those magical awesome people who pay for people’s layaways during the holidays, can we get those people or companies. 🙂
      I’m leaving to the beach soon! I cannot wait, although it looks like it might rain soon. I’m hurrying! 🙂 NYC!! I hope you’re having fun!!

    1. Thank you, Kaylene!! I think you could totally create something like this or similar, we all have a creative side in us. 🙂

    1. “I dream it, I work hard, I grind ’til I own it”- Beyonce 🙂
      I think you and I are quite similar in that respect.
      Thank you! I’m glad I have a creative side to tap into, I think we all do.
      Thanks for stopping by and leaving a sweet comment.

  7. Hey! Recovering perfectionist here!
    I could certainly use more time at the beach!! Life has been chaotic and I would really love to relax a bit! Great post!

    1. My people! I want to say I’m “recovering” but unfortunately it still plagues me from time-to-time.
      I cannot wait to hit the beach, we’re leaving soon like in the next 20 minutes. 😉
      I’m with you: Hey, life, could you relax for a bit!
      Thanks for your sweet comment, Roxanne.

  8. *Hugs* I’ve had a few moments like this lately. We’re planning to move to another state, and we have family that’s not too thrilled or supportive. I hope things turn around for you soon. The beach definitely helps. 🙂

    1. Sending hugs right back your way! I know how that is, I too have moved around (a lot actually) and not everyone was onboard with our move especially my family back in Texas. We left Texas when I was pregnant with my oldest and my parents weren’t thrilled, I understand, but still it would be nice for a little support. Nobody wants a guilt trip. Wishing you all the luck on your move.

    1. I agree there has to be better days, right?
      Yesterday was a pretty awesome day, actually this whole weekend was delightful! Can we do the weekend over? 🙂
      I hope your weekend was good to you and I hope this week is better to you. 🙂

  9. What a cool post! Thanks for being real and letting us in to see whats going on with you! Oh and Beyonce is my girl and i also jumped on the bandwagon way too late!

    1. Thank you, Tabitha! 🙂
      It felt good to let it all out, and to have such a positive response. I love this blog community! 🙂
      I’m glad I’m not the only late Beyonce bandwagoner 😀
      Wishing you a beautiful week!

    1. I don’t, but I’m going to. Googling Susan Miller ASAP. 😉 Thanks for sharing.
      And thank you for your encouraging words!
      Wishing you a beautiful week!

  10. I totally feel akeen to you. I want to move countries. Study abroad. Earn some money. It’s stressful and I hate the reminders. Life does move on with or without us.

    1. You should totally give Sharpies and coffee a try 🙂 It’s the best creative meditation. 😉

  11. I love your morning meditation! I wish I was better at doodling. I can do flowers – and that is about it. The same thing I have been doing since Junior High 🙂 I’m not a fake it till you make it gal either.

    1. Somewhere in my life I stopped doodling, coloring, painting… creating… and it was bleak. I didn’t think I had “it” anymore, but it turns out I do and it’s getting better. You probably do too, Heather! It’s in there, and plus we have YouTube now, so we can be inspired and learn through others. 🙂

  12. Your drawing skills are epic and Beyonce is an inspiration to me as well. I am sorry to hear you have a few things going on but I hope that it improves.

  13. The key to Mercury being in retrograde is to not acknowledge it. Seriously everytime I acknowledge it something bad/frustrating happens so I dont give it any energy. I think we all are faking it until we make it and its ok you gotta be your own hype person sometimes.

    1. For some reason this time around I could not ignore it, it was in my face hardcore. I had to blame someone/something, I blame Mercury Retrograde… 😀
      Yesterday, I felt a whole shift, and then this morning I got in a fender bender… Mercury Retrograde is over. That’s just life.
      I agree, we should always be our hype person. 🙂

  14. girl there must be something in the ‘creative world’ air or water because I am feeling the angst right there with ya. Not sure what it’s for or why, but just wanting to be farther along in my hand lettering journey too & when I’m not, then I second guess everything I am doing (which doesn’t help) – I would love to know that I am on the right path and just enjoy the ride ya know? Keep on girl – love what you are doing! 😉

    1. I totally love what you’re doing, Laura! Your creativity is AWESOME! I certainly think you’re on the right path, keep going!!!

  15. Before I get to gushing, that Elephant is awesome! And, I loved the Ted Talk video! What I loved most about this post though is while you were bearing your heart in the most poetically awesome ramblings ever you spoke to me, to anyone reading this, that is not an easy thing to do at all!

    1. Thank you, Allyson! Your sweet comment means so much to me, thank you. I was afraid to hit publish, I kind of felt naked, but I figured… we’re all friends here, or at least I’d like to think so. 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed the TedTalk too. Thanks again. ?

  16. I’m SO consistently inconsistent with my blog too and I wish I wasn’t, but I’ve realized that it just going to be like that because I’m consistent with being a mom, wife, and with homeschooling. So everything else is going to be inconsistent at times.
    I love Beyonce too 🙂 I really love Lemonade and her self-titled album. 6-inch has me all inspired to grind even though I faced with all of my inconsistent ways…lol.
    I love Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie too.Her TED talk is amazing. If you have Netflix they may still have the movie Half of a Yellow Sun available which was made from her book of the same title. I loved both the movie and the book.

    1. You’re consistent where it matters, and that’s all that matters. 🙂
      I’ll have to look for Half of a Yellow Sun, thanks for the suggestion.

  17. I love this post! I so hear you on “a place of disarray” and also knowing it’s not forever and just wishing it would hurry up and get better! Because it will. And please don’t get bogged down in perfectionism, because your creativity is awesome to us regular people and we need to see more of it!

    1. Julie, can I keep you? You are one of the sweetest! I swear every comment you leave makes me smile, also you make me feel like I’m not alone, not that I want anyone to feel my angst, I’d rather you didn’t, but it’s nice to know that there are others out there who understand.

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