Currently: Angsty Retrograde-y May
Currently, Getting to know Me

Currently {Angsty Retrograde-y May}

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Currently

GOUNELLE

Currently… I’m going through something, I’m not sure what it is. I’m just going through it. I don’t want to let the low tide pull me in. The waves are crashing over me, they’re not hurtful, they are simply cleansing me, perhaps they’re gearing me up for this new chapter. There are moments where I feel like I’m one with those waves; loud, silent, calming, volatile (there are 8 different definitions of this word choose whichever you’d like), and refreshing.

 

(Thank you, Shelly, for introducing this song to me.)

Mercury in retrograde?  Thank goodness it’s almost over. Well.. if that’s even it.

Currently, I’m learning what I’ve always known, life moves on with or without you. Life doesn’t slow down for you to catch up, waiting for the right time is the wrong way to manage time. Yup, I’ve done that, and I’m done.

🙂

Currently, I’m listening to Beyonce and wondering why it took me so long to get on the Beyonce bandwagon. She has me all inspired right now.

via GIPHY

I think I may make Flawless my new anthem (I know it’s an older song, but hear me out), because I need to remember I too can be flawless, I need to drink from the confidence fountain. I also really like hearing Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s part in the song. Annnd now I’m listening to Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TedTalk.

Currently, I’m getting back into my creative outlets, because I need them.

Morning meditation. Coffee & Sharpies ?

A photo posted by Mrs.AOK (@mrs_aok) on

Currently, I’m missing the beach, I think I need it again. I’ll be there this weekend. YES!! Hopefully, my spending Monday morning in second grade and sharing the sharing bird in sharing circle with a little guy (not my guy) who kept wiping his nose with his hands doesn’t derail my weekend plans.

Mermaid at the Beach

Currently, I’m realizing I’m not a “fake it ’till you make it” gal. I’m a let’s be real gal. I’m being completely transparent here. Life is good. I’m good. I’m just in a place or disarray. I live good. I love hard. I’m loved. Happy with my tribe. I’m not in love with my geographic location. I’m fighting some angst. Tired of being consistently inconsistent when it comes to the blog. I’d love to get out of debt and have my student loan disappear. I’m ready for us to find our forever home. I’m happy the sun is shining today. Apparently, I need sun and I have fallen in love with doughnuts.

A photo posted by Mrs.AOK (@mrs_aok) on

Random The More You Know?   

Please do remember we all throw up facades from time to time, so, with that thought, don’t compare yourself. I think we can all admit to a little comparison here and there, right? We have to stop that or realize we’re comparing highlights, or as they call it in second grade high points. You can’t compare other’s high points to your low points or your in the middle. How could we possibly know what goes on behind the iPhone or computer screen?

Currently {thoughts} Your story is unique and so so different... and not worthy comparison.

Currently, I’m wishing I could make a living doodling and hand-lettering. I’ve been working on a little something, and I know I’ve been hinting for months, but remember what I said about needing to drink from the confidence fountain and fighting off angst. But, Dean, you just said:

Life doesn’t slow down for you to catch up, waiting for the right time is the wrong way to manage time.

Yup, you’re right, and that’s why I followed up with:

Yup, I’ve done that, and I’m done.

I’m also kind of a perfectionist…It's NOT who you are, it's who you THINK you're not

I think I’m also done with information overload too. I’ve been streaming all sorts of information to get me to a point where I will emerge as the all knowledgeable being when it comes to my craft/skill. 😀 It’s pretty laughable, right?

Currently, I’m busy with end-of-the-year school projects and other end-of-the-year school duties that are slowly growing. All of sudden everyone has project or two, and they are all due soon. Thanks!

Currently, I’ve missed out on a hot cup of coffee to talk to you, my friends. Because talking and catching up with friends means more to me than my beloved coffee. 🙂 Thank you for being a friend and caring to read what’s been up with me… currently.

XOXO

 

60 thoughts on “Currently {Angsty Retrograde-y May}

  1. Tamara

    May 19, 2016 at 5:14 pm

    That elephant is amazing!
    I’m definitely going through a thing too. It’s a weird restless, fearful, cleansing type of thing. I hope the other side is as awesome as I imagine it to be.

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 22, 2016 at 1:54 pm

      Thank you, Tamara!
      We’re both going through a thing, huh? I just read your Two Step post, and I swear you and I are two peas in a pod!!
      XOXO

  2. Akaleistar

    May 19, 2016 at 10:14 pm

    I’m not a big believer in “fake it ’till you make it”. There’s a time and place for it, but in general, I think it is so much better to be real. Life is not perfect. We can’t be experts in everything. And, that’s okay 🙂

    Also, I love your elephant drawing 🙂

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 22, 2016 at 1:57 pm

      Sometimes I feel like I’m pretty darn real, and I wonder if that’s a good thing in this world.. blog world. I don’t want to be a Downer Debbie, but sometimes, it’s how I’m feeling, and I don’t want to not be real. I cannot fake, life. This is life. It’s up and down, happy and ehh…
      I’m just so happy to have connected with awesome friends like you who totally appreciate my honesty. Thank you! And I still want to do a collab/swap with you. 😉
      XOXO

      1. Akaleistar

        May 25, 2016 at 4:38 pm

        I’d love to do a collab/swap with you this summer! Shoot me an email and let’s figure out the details 🙂

        1. MrsA0K2001

          May 27, 2016 at 10:09 pm

          Will do. Writing myself a note.
          XO

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 20, 2016 at 5:39 pm

      I heart you back!
      xoxo

  3. Amanda Love

    May 20, 2016 at 1:46 am

    Sounds like you’re going through quite a lot my friend. I’m like you. I’m going through some things myself and I’m definitely not a fake it till I make it kind of gal either, but I have to say that beach looks amazing and I wish I could go there with you. Here’s to a fab weekend!

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 22, 2016 at 1:59 pm

      Thank you, Amanda! I hope we come out of this thing with smiles and nothing but happiness in our hearts. I know it’s almost over, I can feel it. 😉
      I’m also about to go to the beach in a few hours, so I’m excited.
      The picture of the beach above is in Isle of Palms in South Carolina, we’re a long way from there. This will be my first time walking on the beach here in Washington.
      XOXO

  4. Michelle

    May 20, 2016 at 6:16 am

    The ramblings of our heart …..love your honesty and your being real here in this space.It is what makes me keep coming back. It will work out – it always does! In the meantime, live, love and don’t forget to laugh!

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 22, 2016 at 2:03 pm

      Thank you, Michelle! I’m so grateful for you friendship and support. I always wonder if me being “honest or real” will turn people away, but in the end all that matters that those who accept my truth stick around and I will always be there for them. 🙂
      I know it’s going to calm soon, I can feel it, perhaps it’s the beach calling me today. 🙂
      I will always live, love, and laugh! Joy is always in my heart, honestly, even on the rough days, I’m always filled with love, gratitude, and joy for life. 🙂
      XOXO

  5. Terri

    May 20, 2016 at 10:20 am

    Someone commented, “ramblings of the heart” and I loved that! When I am in the midst of swirling thoughts and emotions, why is it that sweets always stays calm and steady at the center??? Why isn’t it carrots and celery? Beautiful post.

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 22, 2016 at 2:04 pm

      I liked what Michelle said too, I guess she was right this post was totally the ramblings of my heart. 😉 I’d love to be steady and calm, always. 🙂
      Thank you for stopping by, Terri!
      XOXO

  6. Rebecca

    May 20, 2016 at 12:41 pm

    thank you for this wonderful post. It is inspiring and heartfelt.

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 22, 2016 at 2:50 pm

      Thank you, Rebecca.

  7. Carolyn

    May 20, 2016 at 1:53 pm

    Sometimes writing it all out makes us feel better. I hope it does for you too. 🙂

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 22, 2016 at 2:56 pm

      I agree, and it did. Thank you for reading and commenting. 😉
      XOXO

  8. SMD @ Life According to Steph

    May 20, 2016 at 2:12 pm

    It’s almost over…Sunday! I am typically not well when Mercury is in Retrograde.

    Happy weekend!

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 22, 2016 at 2:57 pm

      Yes!! I can almost feel it leaving me. 🙂
      Happy Weekend to you too, Steph!
      xoxo

  9. Bev Feldman @ Linkouture

    May 20, 2016 at 3:03 pm

    I meant to write in my last comment in your blog post that I absolutely heart that elephant! I think you should consider doing art prints (and make money doodling!)
    I feel ya on the student loans — so ready to be done paying them! Alas, it will be another few years, at least.
    And I miss the beach, too. I’m currently on the train to NYC, though, and am passing boats in the water as I type this comment. 😀

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 22, 2016 at 3:17 pm

      Thank you, Bev! I would love to try and sell some prints, I think that would make me happy to share my work, but I’ve been super hard on my skills lately. Although, I’ve also been quite proud. It’s a battle. 🙂
      I hate student loans! I wish someone would magically pay for those who tried to improve themselves through education, you know like those magical awesome people who pay for people’s layaways during the holidays, can we get those people or companies. 🙂
      I’m leaving to the beach soon! I cannot wait, although it looks like it might rain soon. I’m hurrying! 🙂 NYC!! I hope you’re having fun!!
      XOXO

  10. Cara (@StylishGeek)

    May 20, 2016 at 4:47 pm

    Thanks for sharing! I too feel sometimes I need to have information detox! I get so excited that I experience overload too LOL!

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 22, 2016 at 3:18 pm

      I think we could all use a little information detox. 🙂
      Thanks for stopping by, Cara!
      xo

  11. Kaylene

    May 20, 2016 at 7:11 pm

    Your elephant is amazing! I wish I could create something like that!

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 22, 2016 at 3:19 pm

      Thank you, Kaylene!! I think you could totally create something like this or similar, we all have a creative side in us. 🙂
      XOXO

  12. Cynthia @craftoflaughter

    May 20, 2016 at 10:36 pm

    I’m not a believer in fake it til you make it either. More a work it til you get it! I love your elephant and I’m so glad you tap into your creativity to refresh

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 22, 2016 at 3:22 pm

      “I dream it, I work hard, I grind ’til I own it”- Beyonce 🙂
      I think you and I are quite similar in that respect.
      Thank you! I’m glad I have a creative side to tap into, I think we all do.
      Thanks for stopping by and leaving a sweet comment.
      XOXO

  13. Roxanne

    May 21, 2016 at 6:34 am

    Hey! Recovering perfectionist here!
    I could certainly use more time at the beach!! Life has been chaotic and I would really love to relax a bit! Great post!

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 22, 2016 at 3:25 pm

      My people! I want to say I’m “recovering” but unfortunately it still plagues me from time-to-time.
      I cannot wait to hit the beach, we’re leaving soon like in the next 20 minutes. 😉
      I’m with you: Hey, life, could you relax for a bit!
      Thanks for your sweet comment, Roxanne.
      XO

  14. Jesenia

    May 21, 2016 at 11:39 am

    *Hugs* I’ve had a few moments like this lately. We’re planning to move to another state, and we have family that’s not too thrilled or supportive. I hope things turn around for you soon. The beach definitely helps. 🙂

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 23, 2016 at 12:44 pm

      Sending hugs right back your way! I know how that is, I too have moved around (a lot actually) and not everyone was onboard with our move especially my family back in Texas. We left Texas when I was pregnant with my oldest and my parents weren’t thrilled, I understand, but still it would be nice for a little support. Nobody wants a guilt trip. Wishing you all the luck on your move.
      XO

  15. Toughcookiemommy

    May 21, 2016 at 3:38 pm

    Life definitely moves on with or without you. It’s important to keep looking ahead, even when times get hard because better days are surely ahead.

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 23, 2016 at 12:51 pm

      I agree there has to be better days, right?
      Yesterday was a pretty awesome day, actually this whole weekend was delightful! Can we do the weekend over? 🙂
      I hope your weekend was good to you and I hope this week is better to you. 🙂
      XOXO

  16. Tabitha

    May 21, 2016 at 11:22 pm

    What a cool post! Thanks for being real and letting us in to see whats going on with you! Oh and Beyonce is my girl and i also jumped on the bandwagon way too late!

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 23, 2016 at 12:53 pm

      Thank you, Tabitha! 🙂
      It felt good to let it all out, and to have such a positive response. I love this blog community! 🙂
      I’m glad I’m not the only late Beyonce bandwagoner 😀
      Wishing you a beautiful week!
      XOXO

  17. Denea

    May 21, 2016 at 11:42 pm

    Im not sure if you read Susan Miller but everyone is in retrograde! Hang in there, your doing great!

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 23, 2016 at 12:59 pm

      I don’t, but I’m going to. Googling Susan Miller ASAP. 😉 Thanks for sharing.
      And thank you for your encouraging words!
      Wishing you a beautiful week!
      xo

  18. Natalia

    May 22, 2016 at 12:23 am

    I totally feel akeen to you. I want to move countries. Study abroad. Earn some money. It’s stressful and I hate the reminders. Life does move on with or without us.

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 23, 2016 at 1:19 pm

      We’re two peas in a pod, for sure. Cheers to getting stuff done and wanderlusting for ever!
      XOXO

  19. jill conyers

    May 22, 2016 at 6:45 am

    I love the idea of sharpie and coffee meditation. I’m still not on the Beyonce bandwagon.

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 23, 2016 at 1:20 pm

      You should totally give Sharpies and coffee a try 🙂 It’s the best creative meditation. 😉
      XOXO

  20. Heather

    May 22, 2016 at 8:30 am

    I love your morning meditation! I wish I was better at doodling. I can do flowers – and that is about it. The same thing I have been doing since Junior High 🙂 I’m not a fake it till you make it gal either.

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 23, 2016 at 1:23 pm

      Somewhere in my life I stopped doodling, coloring, painting… creating… and it was bleak. I didn’t think I had “it” anymore, but it turns out I do and it’s getting better. You probably do too, Heather! It’s in there, and plus we have YouTube now, so we can be inspired and learn through others. 🙂
      XOXO

  21. Ana

    May 22, 2016 at 12:22 pm

    Your drawing skills are epic and Beyonce is an inspiration to me as well. I am sorry to hear you have a few things going on but I hope that it improves.

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 23, 2016 at 1:26 pm

      Thank you, Ana! I think things will get better. 😉
      XOXO

  22. Inspiring Kitchen

    May 22, 2016 at 1:26 pm

    I like Beyonce, too. I also love adult coloring books. That coloring page looks very challenging.

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 23, 2016 at 1:27 pm

      Thank you, but I drew that, although, I could make it a coloring page. 😉
      XOXO

  23. Kiwi

    May 22, 2016 at 2:27 pm

    The key to Mercury being in retrograde is to not acknowledge it. Seriously everytime I acknowledge it something bad/frustrating happens so I dont give it any energy. I think we all are faking it until we make it and its ok you gotta be your own hype person sometimes.

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 23, 2016 at 1:30 pm

      For some reason this time around I could not ignore it, it was in my face hardcore. I had to blame someone/something, I blame Mercury Retrograde… 😀
      Yesterday, I felt a whole shift, and then this morning I got in a fender bender… Mercury Retrograde is over. That’s just life.
      I agree, we should always be our hype person. 🙂
      XOXO

  24. Debra

    May 22, 2016 at 9:12 pm

    I too have fallen in love with donuts reccently. I for the sake of my sanity will not tell you how many I ate yesterday.

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 23, 2016 at 1:31 pm

      I will not ask you how many, although, I am intrigued. 😉
      Wishing you a lovely week.
      XO

  25. laura londergan

    May 22, 2016 at 11:56 pm

    girl there must be something in the ‘creative world’ air or water because I am feeling the angst right there with ya. Not sure what it’s for or why, but just wanting to be farther along in my hand lettering journey too & when I’m not, then I second guess everything I am doing (which doesn’t help) – I would love to know that I am on the right path and just enjoy the ride ya know? Keep on girl – love what you are doing! 😉

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 23, 2016 at 1:33 pm

      I totally love what you’re doing, Laura! Your creativity is AWESOME! I certainly think you’re on the right path, keep going!!!
      XOXO

  26. Allyson Greene

    May 23, 2016 at 3:45 pm

    Before I get to gushing, that Elephant is awesome! And, I loved the Ted Talk video! What I loved most about this post though is while you were bearing your heart in the most poetically awesome ramblings ever you spoke to me, to anyone reading this, that is not an easy thing to do at all!

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 24, 2016 at 11:20 pm

      Thank you, Allyson! Your sweet comment means so much to me, thank you. I was afraid to hit publish, I kind of felt naked, but I figured… we’re all friends here, or at least I’d like to think so. 🙂
      I’m glad you enjoyed the TedTalk too. Thanks again. ?
      XO

  27. Sonya

    May 25, 2016 at 12:10 pm

    I’m SO consistently inconsistent with my blog too and I wish I wasn’t, but I’ve realized that it just going to be like that because I’m consistent with being a mom, wife, and with homeschooling. So everything else is going to be inconsistent at times.
    I love Beyonce too 🙂 I really love Lemonade and her self-titled album. 6-inch has me all inspired to grind even though I faced with all of my inconsistent ways…lol.
    I love Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie too.Her TED talk is amazing. If you have Netflix they may still have the movie Half of a Yellow Sun available which was made from her book of the same title. I loved both the movie and the book.

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 27, 2016 at 10:05 pm

      You’re consistent where it matters, and that’s all that matters. 🙂
      I’ll have to look for Half of a Yellow Sun, thanks for the suggestion.
      XOXO

  28. Julie

    May 26, 2016 at 7:34 am

    I love this post! I so hear you on “a place of disarray” and also knowing it’s not forever and just wishing it would hurry up and get better! Because it will. And please don’t get bogged down in perfectionism, because your creativity is awesome to us regular people and we need to see more of it!

    1. MrsA0K2001

      May 27, 2016 at 10:08 pm

      Julie, can I keep you? You are one of the sweetest! I swear every comment you leave makes me smile, also you make me feel like I’m not alone, not that I want anyone to feel my angst, I’d rather you didn’t, but it’s nice to know that there are others out there who understand.
      xoxo

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